Three intense days
Last weekend I attended INELDA’s end-of-life doula training. Intensive is the word. Emotionally, it was a heavy weekend, and the classes were packed with information. I hadn’t expected so much practicum, which required turning inward to consider our own death wishes and plans.
INELDA is the International End of Life Doula Association. They offer training and certification for death doulas. Along with classroom instruction, I now have five case studies to submit to become certified.
What does an end-of-life doula do? Like a birth doula, who coaches a laboring mother while her doctors and midwives focus on the baby, an end-of-life doula provides emotional support to a person during the dying process. This can mean sitting vigil at the bedside, but just as commonly it means preparing loved ones to do so. Doulas help plan for a peaceful and dignified passing, working with the dying person and their family to create a meaningful experience and preserve a lasting legacy. Like any good coach, a doula helps guide you as you face a challenging time. We cannot take the experience away from you, but we will walk alongside you.
Buddha at the Omega Institute
Some things you might cover with an end-of-life doula:
What to expect: How the dying process progresses, signs death is imminent, stages of grief, coordinating with hospice and funeral services
Vigil preparation: Arranging for decoration, lighting, music, visitors and other considerations for final moments
Legacy work: Q&A and story collection to find life themes and purpose, creating video and photo collections, archiving recipes, displaying honors and awards, collecting testimonials and memories.
None of this was easy to discuss, but it made our group of 50 students bond quickly. It was pretty normal to sob at the beginning of a session and be laughing hysterically not much later. It was deeply cathartic. The Omega Institute, where the intensive was located, supported us with healthy vegetarian food and ample options for meditation, solitude, or gourmet coffee and ice cream. You can wander the woods of Rhinebeck, NY, or get your chakras realigned. I spent half an hour art directing a photo shoot of a dragonfly for a stranger. I highly recommend visiting if you need to slow down, whether you take a class or not.
Do I feel prepared with three days of training? Not entirely, but I understand where to dig deeper now, and what direction this kind of work could take for me. And I feel that I can speak courageously about a difficult topic, which is something I value deeply as a writer.
